"I would open each day like a present, tender toward whatever came my way every texture--joy or pain, searing sun or healing rain--for I have seen the masks of my Beloved."

Song by Kirtana "Falling Awake"
www.kirtana.com

Days, weeks and months have come and gone since I have written to you. As I look back, the memories feed my heart as if I am opening up a present. In those moments, my life gives life. The gazes, the exchanges of heartfelt expression, the presence of conscious connection sit within me like pages in a book. Here is where my life has meaning and purpose-the only true purpose that God really intended for us-to be love and to be loved. That love is all that is truly real.

Yet sometimes our thoughts are not all of loving kindness. Our mind can bring us a smorgasbord of feelings that seem like an endless feast of pain and more pain. Like a nightmare that wants to continue to show it’s face, it can destroy a moment of peace or take away the joy that wants to flow through us at any given time. Memories, oh how they can touch us without warning and conjure up some kind of unexpected reaction!

When do these thoughts become the peace beyond all understanding? When you do not react and you allow yourself to be friendly with the moment. Nonresistance to these thought forms can move you beyond form and into the stillness of presence. There is a spacious feeling inside and this nonjudgment is the path to its inner peace.

Today I am treating myself to a second helping of love from this past Valentine’s Day. In my heart and mind I replay the visions of my fathers' sweet gratitude for picking up flowers for him so he could surprise my mother; the words of love written in a card from my husband; and the song that my son sent on the internet. I feel such gratitude as I allow his voice to play over and over again in my mind. I see my mother eating with delight and looking up at me, reminding me of all she has given in her life to others and how happy I am to take care of her now.

Thoughts, when observed, can help us to be a witness to our ongoing lessons and assist us in making more purposeful choices in every given moment. When listening deeply to ourselves, we open up a whole world inside that becomes our teacher. Responding to life instead of reacting to it can be the greatest gift we give to ourselves and others as we journey here for the evolution of our soul. Every moment can be an opportunity to live consciously.

I have noticed how my life outside has been busy and moving and changing yet deep within my self I feel the calmness. It is a way to walk in my life with my heart wide open, feeling safe and secure and centered. Like a walking meditation, I become an opening where life seems to be passing through me as if I was in a movie. The actors come and go and the landscapes change as this part of me moves in and out of the scenes unobtrusively watching myself and others.

There is a feeling of peace as I rest between the thoughts, in the empty places that call to me. I am comfortable with who I am, not hiding or running from any part of life that seems to show up. Sometimes my mind seems to wander and with awareness I can move back to the moment without judging it.

The joy of being here continues to give me life. These are the moments of conscious living where I feel myself being filled, as life becomes a sharing of that which seems so naturally moving through me with ease. This connection with myself joins me with everyone. Days pass by without the stagnation of pent up emotion or the feelings of dread and anxieties. Isn't this grace - where the joy of being here gives purpose and meaning to ones life.

Resting in my life brings me more of the same. Everything outside of me can be embraced as greater understandings fill my quiet mind. I realize that I am giving myself a chance to awaken to a new way of being. Here my ego has less power and my heart opens to a new world born inside of me where experiences show up and memories are made. I walk with my heart wide open...to give and receive. I am blessed.

These moments of time, a memory, is a timeless experience that we can move from the formless into form. As a thought it can become a story, a painting, or a dance; a manifestation of love created for sharing with all humanity.

Memories are being made daily and filed inside our brain. Where does it all go? Like a computer we become filled with many thoughts that make up stories. Some people choose to live in the past and keep themselves in thoughts that create the same story over and over, just with different characters and landscapes. The ego mind will rule the roost if we let it. The ego mind that eases God out. The ego mind that identifies us with the body or what is happening to us in every moment.

Let yourself observe these thoughts and these feelings and be with yourself. Without justifying or reacting to any feelings that come up, just be. Allow the stillness to wash over you like a gentle rain on a warm sunny day as the thoughts and feelings dissolve into the light. With the mind quiet and the body softer, the heart receives the Truth that awakens. Another moment filled with presence. You become conscious of your natural state of Being. Here you are the connection to a timeless Now that is created by the spacious opening of your mind and heart. Now you see clearly that new life is born through you. As love penetrates every cell of your being, you are so full that everything you do becomes a sharing. This love flows freely, giving life and creating more love.

I offer this prayer from my inner most being.
Come join me here where the silence holds us close.

Rest in your self.
There is nothing here but the sweet nectar of the fruits of rest.
Here is where the light bathes you.

Empty the mind filled with “shoulds” or “have tos.”
The calling of a world outside keeps you occupied for a moment,
But just a moment until your breath reminds you of why you are here.

The busy mind keeps you moving, for the sadness might consume you.
If you stop, these feelings might drown you in all that you think you have lost.

Notice your breathing and journey inward, silently aware of each inhale and exhale.
Rest in your breathing as you connect to the body.

The delights of this inner world, shows you many landscapes of valleys and mountains.
The places where the dark shadows of the past seem to meet the highs of a life worth living.

Watch as the feelings pass through.
Witness the moments without judgment.

Emptiness.
Begin to dissolve into something that desires to be born.
You have arrived to touch the deep canyon where nothing is.
This empty place within, where you are pregnant with the void.

God is here as a spacious being.
Like a hollow reed, sit waiting for creation to spring forth.

Give yourself this gift of rest.
Enter with love this beautiful temple of your heart.

A place prepared for all, a promise made, if you can only stop and rest for a while.
A place within where you are safe and filled with the serenity of peace.

Now you have awakened to your true nature as consciousness.
Sweet surrender, where you embody the presence of just being.

Remembering why you came here to be.
Here you have touched the Beloved that you are.
Be love and be loved as you open each moment as if it were a present.

Blessed Be.