We Are Taken Care Of
"A depressing and difficult passage has prefaced every new page I turned in life."

~Charlotte Bronte

In this issue

Upcoming Events

I love my morning walk. As I take a deep breath and welcome the day, I also feel my body and mentally thank it for giving me abundant health and the ability to be fully alive in this glorious moment of each day. I open my eyes wide and take in the beauty that is all around me. I get excited just watching nature perform its morning ritual. I feel like I am witnessing something sacred and holy. It feels as if I have been invited to a private showing of a new piece of art that is now being shown to private collectors.

Last week, as I began my mindful stroll to the beach, I prayed for my parents. I have just come back home from visiting my family for a month. We gathered for my mother's 82nd birthday. We had all been visiting for a week already and I had just mentioned that this was the first visit in 6 years that I wasn't spending it at the hospital. I was so happy to see that my father had recovered miraculously from the stroke he had at the end of May. He was still able to take care of mom because she is seeing impaired and also has the beginning stages of Alzheimer's. My parents' home is on a small lake up in Northern Ontario and it seems to be our gathering place. We were all in the cottage watching my mom opening her presents. There was so much joy and celebration in the room as I looked around. Then, within moments, everything changed! My husband Steve noticed my dad and we thought maybe he was nodding off to sleep. At first I thought to just leave him and then something looked and felt different. Some voice was screaming in my head, getting my attention, "dad is having a stroke." I just let it blurt out of my mouth. My sister, Philomene tried to talk to dad as she asked him questions. He did not connect. Something took charge inside of me as I calmly asked my brother-in-law, Bruce, to call 911. I felt myself in the presence as I put my hands on dad and we all held him in love. We all prayed in our own way. My father was not hearing us and his eyes were crossing as his mouth was drooling. He began to move his arms around in slow motion. We held the space, waiting patiently for the paramedics to arrive. I thought that if my father was going to transition now, we were all with him. We were all in the arms of the mystery. It was incredible to be a part of this plan that was unfolding before our very eyes. As the oxygen was given to him, we could see him coming back to us. The ambulance took him to the hospital as some of us followed by car. How many times will my dad survive these challenges? As the days went on we could see him regaining his strength but this time it was different. His damage was to his left brain and now he was residing more in his right brain.

He couldn't hear us very well but the truth was shown to us. He had trouble connecting with what we would say. He was in his own little world and everything was beautiful. He wasn't frustrated about his condition in any way. He just looked at each of us and was happy and in love. Like an innocent child seeing the world for the first time. He was at peace.

We brought him home from the hospital and could see that the man we knew before had drifted away and even though it was difficult for us to witness, he was in a beautiful place. He didn't worry about making meals for himself and mom, he didn't think about feeding or walking his dog, he didn't think about paying the bills. He just trusted that he was taken care of. He could speak to us and yet, we knew that he also had let go in some way. Now we had lots to do to set up the care for our parents. My dad was the primary care giver of my mother for the past 6 years. Now they were moving into another stage. They needed more care. We now had to make sure that they were safe in their own home. We all did our part and the biggest challenge was to get my father to understand that he was not coming to Florida anymore because of his condition. No one would insure him now if he left Canada. It would not be possible to be away from his doctors. I was sad. I loved when they would be near me for 5 or 6 months of the year. I loved caring for my parents and enjoying the precious times I had with them. I felt blessed that I was able to have them all to myself and be with them so intimately for extended periods of time.

My prayer this morning was for them. It was my mother who looked at me one evening after dad's stroke and said, "I always had trouble with change." I looked at her with great compassion. I felt her fear of her companion leaving her now. My mother just needed to be listened to. She needed to express herself. She cried as I held her.

Now weeks later I see my mother's courage to move forward. She has rallied once again and maybe it's because she knows she is needed. Something has shifted inside of her and I see her self-worth rising as she tends to my father's needs, with the help of others. Here she is at another stage of her life and she has pulled herself out of her darkness. She hasn't given up hope as I am amazed to see her help my father in this stage of their lives.

I am reminded of these words I read, "It helps us to endure the depressing passage if we can remember that we are being prepared for a new stage of our lives, one in which, perhaps, we will leave our old selves as far behind as the dragonfly leaves the larva. With time and wisdom comes the knowledge that some pain always accompanies growth. We can accept the pain more gracefully if we remind ourselves that we are preparing to turn a new page." (The Promise of a New Day by Karen Casey and Martha Vanceburg).

I kept walking to the beach and walked into a glorious moment. I stood before this picture wishing I had brought my camera to capture a once in a lifetime experience. I knew that if I ran back home to get the camera, I would miss this event. So, I stood there and drank in every bit I could as if my heart was taking a picture and my eyes, my ears and my skin were experiencing it all.

What I saw was 100's of birds having a feeding frenzy. All kinds were diving into the waves of the Gulf of Mexico and I could see the fish in their beaks. The many species of Gulls and Pelicans were rejoicing with their sound and the music was so loud. I can still hear it inside of me. The Blue Herons and Egrets were standing on the shore with bigger fish inside their mouth about to be swallowed. I could see schools of fish jumping the waves. The backdrop of this scene was also spectacular. The deep blue sky had the most incredible cloud formations that grabbed my attention but the framing around this picture was a perfect rainbow that started at one end of the horizon to the other. The colors were bright and clear and it framed the scene as if God had painted every part of this picture just for me to witness. Tears rolled down my face. The message was received. I heard it with my heart. We are taken care of.

All my love
Frannie

My Stroke of Insight by Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D. (A Brain Scientist's Personal Journey) is an inspiring book that helped me understand my father's condition and gave information that we all need to know about how our brain affects our choices.

picture by Frannie Hoffman

Frannie's Circle of Light guided meditations

We're at the I Am Healing Arts Center in Sarasota on the 1st, 3rd and 5th Wednesdays of October at 7:00pm.

I AM Healing Arts Center
1918 Robinhood Street
Sarasota, FL
Tel-941.927.6798

On October 16th, I am facillitating the Meditation at Elysian Fields at 6pm.

Elysian Fields
1273 Tamiami Trail (South of Bahia Vista)
Midtown Plaza, Sararota
Tel-941.361.3006

Private consultations and sessions are available at the Bradenton office or by phone. Call 941.782.0770 for more information or to schedule an appointment.

The office is also available to someone who would like to use it for weekends or evenings. There is a wonderful space for workshops or small gatherings and there are two treatment rooms. Call at the office if you are interest: 941.782.0770.